Beauty and the "ideal" . . . give me a break!

It is all around us . . . I recently wrote about it . . . how society views those whose image is not seen as "ideal". The media's focus on beauty and image continues to sicken me. Who made them the societal judge and jury anyway?


It continues to bug me that we have the "food police" who are appalled at the food choices offered through various venues, especially the fast food restaurants. In their opinion, they should make the choices for us . . . who they deem as a stupid, ignorant society who don't have the good sense to make the right food choices. 


It is a personal choice!  What about free enterprise and allowing those restaurants to serve food that their customers want to eat?  We are moving more and more toward a socialist society where those who deem themselves the "smart people" make the choices since they know better. 


Of course they are entitled to their opinion . . . but we all have one, don't we?  If you don't like the food choices at a particular eating establishment . . . don't eat there!!  Find another restaurant that suits your needs . . .


Although it is already old news, writer Maura Kelly of Marie Claire magazine took tons of heat from the Internet community and beyond for writing a "fat-bashing" article based on "fat characters" on a television show.


She wrote:

"So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything.

To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."

Excuse me Maura . . . you'd better hide yourself away from the world since most of our society is not perfect and you are gonna spend your life disgusted and grossed out.  Sorry that imperfect people displease you Miss Perky Perfect.  What a sad person you are . . .


She issued an apology after the backlash from mainstream America. No doubt it had something to do with the magazine not wanting all the negativity and bad press. It is pure arrogance . . . all about money. They have forgotten that society in general are not what they would consider "ideal" . . . we are the "real people," most of us have flaws, unlike "the beautiful people."


One of my favorite websites, BlogHer, wrote several articles on this subject. In particular, there was a line in one of the articles that I love . . . 

"The back story is really relevant, because while we all know that all manner of bigoted and hurtful thinking is common everywhere, it's troubling when it appears in mainstream publications."

It is our responsibility to ignore these arrogant publications and seek alternate sources for reading material on various topics deeming them irrelevant. The bashing has got to stop! Society needs to send them the message that we are mad as hell and not gonna read their publications anymore.


This arrogant behavior is bringing up a new crop of "less than perfect" young women growing up thinking that unhealthy eating disorders are the lesser of the evils. They can hide their disorder and emotional issues associated with their obsession with the "ideal", but their outer beauty will ultimately shine . . . that is what is important. How sad . . .


It all started with the marketing of "Twiggy" . . . the supermodel of the 60's . . .


In my opinion, the message should be . . . strive to be the best person you can be, inside and out . . . educate yourself on how to make healthy improvements and how to make enhancements to be the most attractive you can be . . . embrace your uniqueness and love yourself for who you are . . . be true to yourself!

Authenticity

When I cruise the internet, I get lost and spend hours looking for new and interesting websites and blogs.  On occasion, I run into one that I consider outstanding . . . BlogHer is one of them.  You can reach the website by going to the sidebar of my blog . . . I have included the "Own Your Beauty" link.  Every month they target a different topic . . . this month is "Authenticity."  Check them out!


The following article comes directly from their website . . . No, I'm not "stealing" their content . . . I don't want to lose the content by just placing a link here and losing the content when they change their website pages.  (It has happened way too often, making my blog posts useless . . . just wanted to explain why I do it!)


In the years that I have adopted the lifestyle of "Simple Abundance," other than being grateful for simple little things every day, being authentic is up there on the list of importance as far as quality of life.


Usually this type of post goes on my Peace, Love, Happiness blog, but I thought posting this here is of great importance to women everywhere.  If these type of topics interest  you, please visit my other blog!

The awesome ladies at BlogHer
 have given us 12 tips to authenticity:

1.   Where is the list of fine performing arts that includes “art of listening,” I ask you?

2.   I’m suspicious of anyone who tells me they are an expert. Students teach me more.

3.   Confidence is the heartbeat of beauty. The trick? To get there we have to fail and change. The courage to  fail is irresistible to me.

4.   Are you hurting? Tell people. You will feel so GORGEOUS when you stop isolating yourself and open your heart.

5.   Take three hours a week for self-exploration: Make a regular date with yourself relax and things that will let your mind wander. Don’t expect major breakthroughs each time; it’s total time spent that helps you subconsciously approach the world differently.

6.   Don't compare: There’s a big difference between being inspired by others and emulating them. Your accomplishments may be similar to others’, but your path is unique and equally valid. Your job is not to be better than anyone, but to best meet your own purpose.

7.   Try not talking: Just observe others for a day. You’ll be amazed at how much connection you’ve missed, and how much more comfortable people are around someone who can let conversations unfold.

8.   What are you always telling yourself you'll do “someday?" Consider doing it now. Note I didn’t say do it, but consider doing it. Asking yourself to consider it takes the pressure off acting right away -- but the seeds are subconsciously planted.

9.   Don't be afraid to ask questions. Nothing exudes more confidence than freely admitting you don't know everything. People figure you must be really smart if you're willing to admit when you're dumb.

10. Everything you choose to share should be the truth. But you don't have to share everything. You can be authentic and still have boundaries. In fact you probably should!

11. You have the opportunity to live your values with every dollar you spend. Vote via the ballot box and your wallet.

12. The corollary to living your values is: Do the best that you can, until you can do better. None of us is perfect. But we should never do nothing because we can't do everything. I was a vegetarian for seventeen years before I finally successfully went vegan.

Never too skinny

When I look at old paintings from way back in the day, it is apparent that the full figured woman was all the rage at the time judging by the myriad of the classic nudes, highlighting these women looking all self-confident and proudly displaying their poochy tummies hanging out . . . obviously feeling beautiful with an abundance of self-acceptance. It was the body style that was fashionable back in that time.

Fast forward to modern times and the poochy tummies have been replaced by protruding bones and flat chests . . . the waif look that reminds me of death's doorstep. It is the body style that is fashionable in these times. But at what cost health wise? How about the emotional cost?

Of course we know the health pitfalls of obesity, not to mention the stress and anxiety, the psychological effects associated with not "fitting in" with society as a result of those extra pounds. It is ironic that on this same earth, those confident ladies back in the day would be ridiculed on this same earth, however judged by a totally different society.

In this day and age of the waif look, how skinny is skinny? How skinny is acceptable? How many extra pounds are deemed acceptable?

I recently read in disbelief as one of the most beautiful women of our time, Lisa Marie Presley had to disclose her pregnancy prematurely to stop the ugly and vicious talk of her weight gain by the gossip mongers associating it with her father's downfall and untimely death. How cruel have we become as a society? She had to take a blessed time in her life that she wanted to remain private until she was ready to share it with the world and throw it in the face of the malicious wagging tongues to shut them up.

As a person who has struggled with weight problems all of my life, going up and down the spectrum of obsessities with body types, weight perpetually going up and down . . . and feeling the changes of society's acceptance and attitude towards me, depending on my size, I've finally come to the place in my life where I accept myself as I am and no matter what size I am wearing . . . which still swings on the wild spectrum of a yo-yo out of control.

My self-acceptance and self-confidence in my appearance comes from always trying to look the best I can and make the best of what I've got. I'm a great cook, love to enjoy those awesome meals that sometimes goes the way of comfort food, adding the pounds and then scaling back when it gets out of control. In my opinion, what matters is HOW I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF.

There was a time in recent past where I was seeing a trend in the fashion industry that was making an attempt to switch the popularity of the equally unhealthy yet fashionable waif look to that of a more healthy look. Dare I hope that we can get back to the time where curves were deemed sexy, as in the time of Marilyn Monroe, one of the great beauties of our time?

When I read the following article this morning at one of my favorite websites, Psychology Today, it got me thinking along these lines. Can't we get back to a happy medium that is healthy?

Here is the article . . .


It wasn't until a young dancer's body began to "fall apart" that she admitted she had anorexia. Should she have been forced into treatment years before, against her will? At least one study says yes.

By: Rebecca Segall

When malnutrition sent Sarah's body through menopause at age 25, her parents and ballet teachers became wrought with fear.

Standing 5'3" and weighing only 95 pounds, Sarah was a magna cum laude Princeton University graduate and a professional ballerina. But despite her elite education, no doctor could convince her that eating was good for her, or that she had anorexia nervosa—an eating disorder that stems from a fear of gaining weight. And no one felt comfortable forcing her into treatment.

"Nothing could prevent my will from controlling my body," Sarah says. Except her body itself. The same year she stopped menstruating, her brittle frame began to crumble beneath her. "My foot broke during a rehearsal. I was on crutches for almost a year. Eventually I had to have a screw inserted into my foot because my body couldn't heal on its own." Years after her body forced her into treatment, Sarah has retired from dancing and is healthy and eating again.

"I'm glad my body fell apart, otherwise I would have refused treatment until I dropped dead," she says. Like Sarah, many people with eating disorders don't recognize that they have a problem and never seek help. But a study in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that more sufferers should be checked into hospitals, even against their will. Lead author Arnold E. Anderson, Ph.D., a psychiatry professor at the University of Iowa College of Medicine, examined 397 eating disordered patients, 66 of whom were admitted involuntarily. Surprisingly, his results showed that those patients admitted against their will responded to treatment as well as those admitted voluntarily.

Eating disorders like anorexia have traditionally been attributed to environmental cues: rigid beauty standards, strict homes, rigorous sports and competition. Scientific evidence that they commonly run in families has only reinforced this view. But another report in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggests that a genetic trait may actually be the source of such disorders.

In this study, researchers at the Eating Disorders Program of New York Presbyterian Hospital in New York City examined the relationship between anorexia nervosa and the personality trait of perfectionism. Led by Katherine Halmi, Ph.D., the team examined 322 women with a family history of the eating disorder and found that the extent of the victims' perfectionism was directly associated with the severity of their anorexia nervosa. The researchers believe that anorexia may be linked to the family of genes associated with serotonin, a neurotransmitter connected to mood. They're now planning to analyze the study participants' DNA for patterns that are similar in anorexic family members, but different in those without eating disorders—a goal that may ultimately help to improve treatment for the disorder.

These findings may hit close to home for people like Sarah, whose own sister is also a recovering anorexic. But she warns not to overlook the roles of others who contribute to the illness. "Parties involved should be focusing on how they do contribute to the problem rather than how they don't," Sarah advises.

Psychology Today Magazine, Mar/Apr 2001
Last Reviewed 8 Apr 2008
Article ID: 22