Online Dating Facts

It was my preferred method of finding my partner . . . and it worked for me and many other friends who are still with their significant others years after meeting online. Of course it is a very scary endeavor, but so is traditional dating.

The following is an interesting article with lots of research to back up their facts . . .

Psychological research reveals who uses internet dating and why, which strategies work, and uncovers the truth about lying online.

Somewhere between one-third and three-quarters of single people with internet access have used it to try and meet someone new. But, over the years, we've heard conflicting stories about how successful it is.

Believe the internet dating companies and it's all sweetness and light, with wedding bells ringing in the distance; believe the media scare stories and it's all lying, cheating, perverted social misfits. The truth is somewhere in between, but where?

Fortunately, now there's enough research to suggest what's really going on. So, here are my 10 favourite psychological insights on internet dating.

 

1. Internet daters are not losers

 

Contrary to the stereotype, there's little evidence that internet dating is the last resort of social misfits or weirdos.

In fact, quite the reverse. Internet daters are more likely to be sociable, have high self-esteem and be low in dating anxiety (Kim et al., 2009; Valkenburg, 2007). These studies found no evidence that people use online dating because they can't hack it face-to-face. It's just one more way to meet new people.

People's motivations to start online dating are many and various, typically involving a triggering event like a break-up, but overall Barraket and Henry-Waring (2008) have found that people's motivations are less individual and more social. People aren't using online dating because they are shy but because they have moved to a new city, are working long hours or don't have time to meet anyone new.

 

2. Online daters do lie (but only a little)

Although 94% deny their internet dating profiles contain any fibs (Gibbs et al., 2006), psychologists are a suspicious lot. Toma et al. (2008) measured the heights and weights of 80 internet daters, as well as checking their driving licences for their real age.

When this data was compared with their profiles, it showed that nine out of ten had lied on at least one of the attributes measured, but the lies were only small ones. The most frequent offender was weight, with daters either adding or shaving off an average of 5%. Daters were more truthful about their age (1.5% deviation) and height (1.1% deviation). As expected women tended to shave off the pounds, while men gave themselves a boost in height.

These lies make little difference in the real world because the vast majority of fibbing would have been difficult to detect in person. Most people want to meet up eventually so they know big lies are going to be caught.

 

3. Photo fallacies

 

The saying 'the camera never lies' is bunk. Even without Photoshop to iron out the wrinkles, camera angles and lighting can easily change perceived attractiveness.

People instinctively understand this when choosing their profile photo so Toma and Hancock (2010) took photographs of internet daters, then judges compared these to the real profile photos.

Although less physically attractive people were the most likely to choose a self-enhancing photo, overall the differences were tiny. The lab photos were only a little less attractive than those chosen for online dating profiles (about 5% for women and 4% for men). Once again, internet daters weren't lying much...

 

4. Your best look

 

Clues to which types of profile photos work come from one online dating site which has analyzed 7,000 photographs in its database (oktrends, 2010):

Women had higher response-rates when they made eye-contact with the camera and looked flirty. Conversely the least successful pictures for women were looking away with a flirty face.

Men's best look was away from the camera, not smiling. But guys should avoid a flirty face, which was associated with a drastic reduction in messages.

They then looked at which photos were associated with the longest online conversations. These were where it showed the dater:

Doing something interesting

With an animal

In an interesting location (travel photo)

The photos associated with shorter than average conversations were (in increasing order of conversational deterrent):

In bed (associated with slightly shorter conversations)

Taken outdoors

Having fun with friends

And the most likely to deter interactions: drinking! (associated with the shortest conversations)

(Remember, these are all associations so we can't be sure about causality.)

 

5. Opposites (still) don't attract

 

Even amongst a diverse population of online daters, people still prefer someone who is similar to themselves.

When Fiore and Donath (2005) examined data from 65,000 online daters, they found that people were choosing based on similarity to themselves.

In this respect online dating is no different from offline dating. On average people are looking for someone about the same as themselves. Indeed there are now many dating sites aimed at narrower demographics such as sports fans, Jewish people or those with particular medical conditions.

 

6. Internet dating encourages some diversity

 

To examine internet dating diversity, Dutton et al. (2009) surveyed 2,670 married couples in the UK, Australia and Spain. In this sample internet daters were more likely to have a greater disparity in age and educational background compared with those who had met in more traditional ways.

Although opposites don't tend to attract, by its nature internet dating does encourage diverse matches. The authors argue that it is changing the face of marriage by bring together types of people who previously never would have met.

 

7. Keep the first message short

 

Getting a response online can be a hit-and-miss affair. An online dating site has gauged the response rate by analysing more than 500,000 initial contacts sent by their members (oktrends, 2009). Recipients answered only 30% of men's messages to women and 45% of women's messages to men. The percentage that lead to conversations is even lower (around 20% and 30% respectively).

The one-third response rate, which is backed up by academic research (Rosen et al., 2008), is partly because many internet dating accounts are dead.

oktrends also found that longer messages only yield a small improvement in response rate for men and nothing for women. So, don't waste your time writing an essay. Say hi and let them check out your profile.

 

8. Emotionality is attractive

 

In a study of online dating, Rosen et al., (2008) found evidence that more intense emotionality, e.g. using words like 'excited' and 'wonderful', made a better impression on both men and women.

This study also looked at the impact of self-disclosure. While the results were more variable, overall people preferred relatively low-levels of self-disclosure.

 

9. After screening, 51% meet face-to-face

 

For many, but not all internet daters, the aim is to meet someone new in the flesh. In a survey of 759 internet daters, Rosen et al. (2008) found that 51% of people had made a face-to-face date within one week and one month of receiving replies to their online overtures.

This first meeting is often treated by internet daters as the final part of the screening process (Whitty & Carr, 2006). Is this person really who they say they are? And, if so, is there any chemistry? It's only after this stage is complete that people can get to know each other.

 

10. Relation shopping

 

Despite all the positive things the research has to say about internet dating, there's no doubt that it can be unsatisfying and aversive. 132 online daters surveyed by Frost et al. (2008) reported that they spent 7 times as long screening other people's profiles and sending emails than they did interacting face-to-face on real dates.

Part of the problem is that people are encouraged by online dating to think in consumerist terms (Heino et al., 2010). Users are 'relationshopping': looking at other people's features, weighing them up, then choosing potential partners, as though from a catalogue; it's human relationships reduced to check-boxes.

This is more of a criticism of the technology currently available than it is of the general idea of internet dating. Frost et al. (2008) argue that this will change as online dating services move towards more experiential methods, such as virtual dates (see: why internet dating is aversive).

How well does it work?

There's only limited data about how well internet dating works and most of this research examined heterosexual daters. Still, Rosen et al. (2008) found that 29% of their sample had found serious relationships through internet dating. Dutton et al. (2009) found that about 6% of married couples had met online in the UK, 5% in Spain and 9% in Australia. Looking at just younger people the percentages were much higher:

In the US, 42% of couples between 26 and 35 first met online.

In the UK, 21% of married couples between 19 and 25 first met online.

If a long-term relationship is what you're after, we can certainly say that it's working for some people.

Many are no doubt put off internet dating by the scare stories, especially because these stick in the mind. Some will find the box-ticking, relationshopping aspects off-putting, or get caught out by the tensions between representing their actual and idealised selves online. Still others will find that low levels of response kills their enthusiasm.

The research, however, suggests that most internet daters are relatively honest and, for some at least, it can be successful.

 

Article Source: http://www.mentalfloss.com

Is your boss a bully? Read on . . .

Unless you've been incredibly lucky in your professional life, no doubt you have experienced the bully boss. Perhaps you are the bully boss? In my opinion, working for a bully boss is one of the most degrading things we will ever have to endure. Control and power of others in evil hands should never be tolerated in the business world, but sadly, it is. In this era of high unemployment, the bully boss feels even more empowered since good jobs are very difficult to find and in some areas, impossible. Are power hungry people so evil that they don't even see what they do to their employees? Do they really care, or is it just a game . . . a power trip? 
 My experience in supervisory positions showed me that treating others as you wish to be treated produces happy employees with productive, successful results. Management by intimidation creates a toxic work environment where employees are only there because life circumstances force them to stay. Experience has also shown me that women bosses tend to be bully bosses moreso than their male counterparts. Interesting observation . . . In the article "When the Boss Is A Bully" from Psychology Today, they touch on some tactics that can be used in dealing with a bully boss.

Here are tactics from seasoned organizational consultants:

- Confront the bully: "I'm sorry you feel you have to do that, but I will not put up with that kind of behavior. It has no place here." It can be startlingly effective. "Bullies lack boundaries on their own behavior. Some external controls may force them to back off" says Levinson. "A bully can't bully if you don't let yourself be bullied." - Conduct the confrontation in private--behind dosed doors in the bully's office, at lunch outside the office. The bully won't back down in front of an audience. - Specify the behavior that's unworkable: "You can't just fire from the hip and demean me in front of my staff or others."

 

- Don't play armchair psychologist. Restrict the discussion to specific behaviors, not theories of motivation.

 

- Make your boss aware by showing him or her the consequences of his behavior on others. "I've been noticing how Jim seems so demoralized lately. I think one of the contributing factors may be last week's meeting when you ridiculed him for producing an inadequate sales report" Many executives have no information on how their leadership style impacts others, says Alexander. "Peers don't tell them they are in competition. Why feed information that may make your competitor more effective?" - Awareness is not enough; help your boss figure out what to do. Specify the behavioral change you want. "Your boss is likely to brush off criticism with, 'That's just my style;" observes Marquand. "Furnish your boss with an example of desirable behavior-from his or her own repertoire of actions. Jump in with 'But I can recall a month ago when you were . . . lavish in your praise of that new assistant,' or whatever."

 

- Point out how the boss's behavior is seen by others. "You embarrass me when you publicly humiliate me in a meeting, but you also embarrass yourself. You're demonstrating your weakness." Comparing self-perceptions and the perceptions of others is often a "grabber," finds Alexander. "The fact of difference gets people's attention." - Try humor. If you point out to your boss that she's acting like a caricature, that may be enough to make her aware.

 

- Recruit an ally or allies. Standing up for yourself can stop a bully by earning his/her respect. But it could also cost your job. The higher your boss is in the organization, says Lewis, the more you need allies. "It pays to check out with other workers whether the behavior you are experiencing is generalized or idiosyncratic," says Levinson. "If it's generalized, it's easier for two or three people to confront a boss than one alone." - If the company you work for is large enough to have one, talk to the human resources department. Unfortunately, says Levinson, companies often don't learn about bullying experiences until an exit interview. But the larger the company you work for, the more mechanisms there are in place to deal with bullies. Unfortunately, the corollary is that in a smaller organization you may have little choice except to leave. - If you are important to the organization, you may accomplish your goal by going to your boss's boss. But that's always a chancy move; you'll have to live with your boss in the morning.

Personally, I have enjoyed using humor on a bully boss . . . Click here to read the entire article from Psychology Today . . .

Do emotions control your weight?

It has always been my belief that weight problems
have much to do with emotions, as well as genetics.
All my years of weight fluctuations have taught me that
once I motivate myself to lose weight, the rest is easy.
Doesn't matter what method I use to lose weight, it works
once I have talked myself into it.


I found the following article very insightful based
on my experience with restlessness, anxiety and
controlling weight problems.

Interesting correlation . . .
it works the same way for quitting smoking.

Been there . . . done that too.

It is all mind over matter, isn't it?





Overweight?
Your Brain May not Know When to Stop

by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. Updated: Jul 15th 2010

"Most of us have experienced the kind of mindless eating where we're gobbling up handfuls of some snack food or another? However, it may not be because we're hungry. New brain research is finding that activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that is important for orchestrating feelings hunger and satiation, is reduced in healthy weight people versus overweight people. In other words, overweight individuals are not getting the signals from the brain that they are actually full.

This is fascinating and at the same time leaves me wanting more information about what the factors are that carry on that activation in the amygdala even after enough food in ingested.

One thing we also know about the amygdala is that is has been called the "fear circuit." Fear is often the underlying emotion when it comes to anxiety.

So it would make sense that the underlying emotion that keeps the amygdala activated is some sort of fear or anxiety even with fullness present which then inhibits the amygdala from doing its job of sending the signal of satiation.

Then the question comes in, well, for some people being overweight is an issue with metabolism, while for others it may be an anxious behavior. So it may not be so clear cut."

To go to the rest of this article, click here

Natural Cycles of Sleep

Rhythmic Rest

When our bodies are attuned
to the world’s natural rhythms of sleep,
we can feel more energetic while awake.

The human body evolved to fall asleep soon after the descent of night’s curtain and to wake with the appearance of the dawn. Sleep cycles were governed by patterns of light and darkness for thousands of years, meaning that for much of history, humanity has enjoyed nine of more hours of sleep each night. Our bodies are naturally encoded to respond to light and dark and sleeping with the rhythms of Mother Nature. In the present, artificial light has changed the way we schedule our day-to-day lives, and most of us slumber for less than seven hours at a stretch. It is possible, however, to come back to natural sleeping cycles by making a few small changes. When our bodies and minds are attuned to the world’s natural rhythms, we feel calmer, more centered, and more energetic while awake. Sleep is more satisfying because we afford ourselves more than enough time for restoration and rejuvenation.

Our reliance on indoor lighting further compounds our disassociation from the natural cycles of light and darkness that would otherwise preside over our sleep. You can mimic the passage of the day by changing the quality of the light. Sleeping without heavy drapery or shades is best so you can wake up with the sun. If sleeping by a window without a curtain is not an option, a dawn simulator lamp imitates the sun by growing steadily brighter with the coming of the height of morning.

You will likely discover that changing your sleep patterns to be in sync with the daily cycle of light and darkness is easy and that you feel more alive when your sleeping and waking rhythms are in alignment to those of the earth. Nature’s own phases will be your guide to wellness, granting you more waking hours in the summertime when you will benefit greatly from spending time outside and ensuring you get plenty of sleep in the winter when you likely need it most.

Source: The Daily Om

3 Keys To A Happy Marriage

1. Be thankful

It all starts with attitude. If you don't stay on the positive side, failure is inevitable.

You cannot have a happy marriage without happy people.


2. Express your appreciation

Let your spouse know by word and deed that you appreciate them.

Be specific and lavish in your praise and thanks.
Nothing encourages people like encouragement.

People love people who love them.
If you want your spouse to love you,
the best thing you can do is love them,
and let them know it.


3. Aim to please

If you make them happy, you will be happy.

True happiness is never found in trying to please ourselves.
Fulfillment comes from accomplishment,
and the greatest accomplishment is
helping someone else in their life.

New Year Traditions

10 Unusual Traditions for
Ringing in the New Year around the World

by David K. Israel
December 30, 2009 - 10:14 PM

In honor of 2010, here are 10 unusual traditions observed by different countries around the world.

1. Romania

In Romania, some believe that if you toss coins into the river, you’ll have good luck throughout the coming year. Even more impressive: some peasants use December 31st to predict the coming year’s weather by systematically peeling, salting and reading the skins of 12 onions. According to this source, “On St. Vasile’s Day or New Year’s Day, a person who is efficient in witchcraft and spells checks the level of the liquid left by the melted salt in each of the onions peels.” The level helps them determine the climate conditions in the new year.

2. Spain

In Spain, as the clock strikes 12, people eat twelve grapes—one for each month of the year, and for each toll of the bell. The tradition, which is believed to bring good luck, can be traced back to the year 1909 when there was a bountiful harvest in the town of Alicante and Alfonso XIII, the Spanish King, gave grapes to his peeps on New Year’s Eve.

3. Switzerland

Ever hear of dropping a dollop of cream on the floor to ring in the new year with good luck, wealth and peace? Well that’s what some do in Switzerland — it’s thought to bring a year of abundance. (Hey, don’t laugh… provided everyone cleans up his or her dollop, it’s a lot more civilized than screaming along with a trillion other people in Times Square.) Some Swiss also observe the tradition of dressing up in costumes to invoke good spirits and chase evil energies.

4. Puerto Rico

In Puerto Rico, they blast car horns and boat whistles, ring church bells and beat drums to drive away evil spirits and demons. In some parts of the country they also throw pails of water from their windows at midnight in a bid to chase away the evil eye. Puerto Ricans also have an unusual tradition for bringing good luck in the coming year: they drop backwards into the breaking waves as the clock strikes 12.

5. Belgium

Belgium might be the only country where farmers wish their livestock happy new year to ensure 365 days of good health and well-being. Well, outside of India, where they bless cows frequently, and, of course, Sesame Street, where Bert and Ernie are always wishing the animals a happy this or that. Belgians are also known to exchange gifts on New Year’s, which they celebrate as Sint Sylvester Vooranvond (St. Sylvester Eve).

6. France

The French mix health and wealth and usher in the new beginning with a stack of pancakes. (Note to self: get rich quick scheme no. 145: open an iHop in Paris) Another unique custom in France is kissing under the mistletoe as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, sorta like Christmas traditions elsewhere.

7. Armenia

In Armenia, a special kind of bread is baked with good luck and best wishes stamped on it. Traditionally, people conduct a ‘Ritual of Fire’ on New Year’s Eve where all troubles pertaining to the old year are symbolically burnt. This is not to be confused with the “Ring of Fire’ in the fish tank on Finding Nemo.

8. Bolivia

In Bolivia, dolls made of straw and wood are hung outside homes for good luck. Coins are also baked into sweets. Whoever finds the coins will be prosperous in the New Year. It is also considered auspicious to leave 3 stones outside the door for health, prosperity and love. Other Bolivians elect to wear yellow-colored undies to bring themselves a new year full of money. Red undies, on the other hand, supposedly bring love.

9. Portugal

In the northern parts of Portugal, children traditionally sing carols as they visit houses where they are given coins and treats. The songs they sing are called janeiros and are said to bring good luck. As in Spain, eating 12 grapes at midnight ensures 12 months of happiness in the coming year.

10. Japan

Not unlike what happens in Chicago after every Cub’s season, the Japanese have ‘forget-the-year’ parties and generally consider it a time to forgive and forget. They hang straw ropes across their homes’ façades to ward away evil spirits and welcome good luck and happiness.

I found this awesome list on a fellow Twitter's page . . . http://twitter.com/Axleuk

SOURCE

If you like these kinds of lists, there’s plenty more where this one came from. Follow me on Twitter: @resila – and follow mental_floss here to stay up-to-date.

Tips for Beautiful Eyelashes

Long, luscious, thick eyelashes are always in style. Most of us, however, were not fortunate enough to be born with such beautiful eyelashes. Thankfully, the cosmetic industry is here to help! Whatever your need, there is a mascara out there for you. Short lashes? Try a lengthening mascara. Thin lashes? Try a thickening mascara. Straight lashes? Try a curling mascara. All three? Try a volumizing mascara. Which one is the best choice for you? Here are a few tips to help you decide.

Decide between normal wear, water resistant, and waterproof

Mascaras are formulated from wax, pigments and resins which are then dissolved in either water, petroleum jelly, or a combination of both. As the water or petroleum evaporates, it leaves behind the wax to help make your lashes look thicker, longer, or both. Formulas made from water are, by their nature, not waterproof, so they smear and run easier. Mascaras made of petroleum are waterproof, but can be clumpy-looking and difficult to remove. Water resistant, which combines both water and petroleum, offers a nice balance between the two. However, if you're a crier at weddings, you may want to go ahead and wear waterproof for such an occasion!

Don't buy more help than you need

If you have long lashes, but they're thin, don't buy mascara with a lengthening agent. When lashes clump or get that weird spider-looking effect, it's usually because there are more agents in the mascara than the lashes need. Volumizing mascara is tempting, but avoid it unless your lashes truly are short and thin. This will also save you a little money at the register. A general rule is the more things a mascara can cure, the more expensive it is.

Learn how to curl or thicken your lashes without the extra agents

To get great curl on your lashes, take your eyelash curler and place it at the root of your lashes. Hold firmly for ten seconds and release. If your lashes are stick straight, you can move up slightly away from the roots, repeating the curl. Do this until the ends of your lashes. With a curved mascara wand, hold the wand so the brush looks like a rainbow. Brush the roots of your lashes back and forth a couple of times (a similar motion to brushing your teeth), before sweeping through to the tips. Not only will this help curl your lashes, it will also help thicken them. Want those thick, Red Carpet lashes? Quickly apply ten thin coats of mascara (yes, ten!). If you let it dry between coats, you'll ruin the effect and have clumps. Quick strokes are the key.

Choose the right color

Basic rule of thumb: black lengthens, brown thickens. A fun look that will both thicken and lengthen your lashes is a process called minking. To mink your lashes, apply a coat of brown mascara. After that layer has dried, apply black mascara just to the tips of your lashes. Your lashes will look thick at the roots and phenomenally long at the tips.

Use eye make-up remover

Even if your mascara is not waterproof, using regular soap or facial cleaners can wreak havoc on your eyelashes. If it requires a lot of scrubbing to get the mascara off, you run the risk of pulling out lashes. Losing eyelashes at every washing is not something a thickening mascara can help you with. Fight the problem at its source. The best eye make-up remover will be oil-free, using a saline or silicone base, preferably both, that will gently wash away even waterproof mascara. Never scrub at your lashes. Gently rub away the mascara with a soft cloth or cotton balls.

Toss your mascara every three months

Even if you've only used the tube once, throw out your mascara every three months. Mascara tubes are breeding grounds for lots of microbial infections and eye mites. Three months is the longest shelf life any tube of mascara has. If you notice that your mascara is clumpy in the tube or smells odd, throw it out. Never, ever let someone else use your mascara. It's the quickest way to spread an eye infection.

Source: K. Pantinas

GreatestLook.com

AWESOME WEBSITE!
 

Gratitude and charity

After a year of financial disaster and getting myself back on track, the following article from Smart Women Guides really touched me. While I am on the way back from horrendous economic times, there are those who are not as fortunate.

As a result of my recent experience and the fabulous new job which involves community service and helping others, I can relate to being grateful for everything I have been blessed with and plan on joining the ranks of those doing what they can to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate . . . I was one of them.

By the way, Smart Women Guides is an excellent blog to follow . . .

"It’s the color of the season, the color of an open heart, and the new black - gratitude.

Never before in my life have I felt such an outpouring of gratefulness, generosity, and caring as I have witnessed over the last several weeks. Don’t know if I was just wearing the right clothes, or smelled just so, but I have had the pleasure of seeing some amazing things first hand. And, I feel glad from it.

Everywhere around us, we witness the world. Some of it can seem frightening. If you listen to the general attention monger media, you might conclude that we should all be in a constant state of fear.

But here’s the deal - fear is a state of mind, not an automatic reaction. When we open our eyes to beauty and miracles, we see that instead. Call me a rose-colored glasses wearing optimist, but hope and forward looking visioning feels better to experience. It gives me more strength of spirit to face the issues that need addressing and to take action. Fear cripples - hope and love uplift. Fear is a choice and it is not my choice today.

In honor of this elation and well…gratitude I feel for the wondrous and hopeful things I see around me, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite causes. If you have one you love, please list it in comments below so we can all know about the good work they are doing and how we can help.

Kiva.org - Microlending site: For as little as $25 you can provide much needed credit assistance to deserving entrepreneurs worldwide. Most entrepreneurs who use microlending are women.

RoomToRead.org - Literacy program started by ex-Microsoft executive, John Wood, that builds libraries throughout the developing world. Room to Read’s programs have reached more than three million children so far and hopes to improve literacy for ten million children by 2020.

WomenForWomen.org - Women for Women International provides women survivors of war, civil strife and other conflicts with the tools and resources to move from crisis and poverty to stability and self-sufficiency.

Charity: Water - Almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. That’s one in eight of us. charity: water is a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund water projects.

We have the power within ourselves to create a world of peace, understanding, tolerance, and health. Thank you to everyone who is working toward this vision - know that many of us stand in gratitude for what you do.

Together, we are stronger!"

Vicki Flaugher, CEO
SmartWomanGuides.com

Shimmery eye makeup

I admit it . . . I'm makeup obsessed! Furthermore, I LOVE shimmery eye makeup and found this blog post fascinating. Hope you find it enlightening . . . experiment with shimmery eye makeup . . . try it, you'll love the results!


Can we wear shimmer in our makeup after 40?

September 17, 2008 by Deborah Boland and JoJami Tyler - The Glam Gals

Came across an interesting blog post the other day at Raising Angls.com. The writer told the story how of how she was at the makeup counter recently and was asking the woman behind the counter , ” Is it Ok for women over 40 to have those “shimmer things” in the eyeshadow. The woman’s reply was “Why YES!, you can shimmer all you want after 40 you just don't want to sparkle!”

We were curious what our favorite expert Christopher Hopkins (The Makeover Guy) thoughts were on the difference between shimmer and sparkle.

Here is what he said:

“I agree. A little shimmer in the right places can be very effective. (Key: right place). The brow bone, a touch in the eye lid, a soft shimmer in lip color. It’s the size of the particles, really. It’s like eggshell vs. matte vs. gloss. But it is pretty difficult to tell how much shimmer something has until you’ve worn it for a few hours and it has settled into ‘areas’ we’d rather not accentuate with shimmer or shine.”

If in doubt, save the shimmer for evening, and eliminate highly frosted or seriously shiny makeup altogether.

Christopher Hopkins is the author of Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45

Lifestyle changes to drop a dress size fast

One of the best weight control/diet/lifestyle change blogs I have found . . . Eat2BSlim

The following post is from that blog . . . lifestyle changes are more important to maintaining good health than a "diet" and losing weight temporarily.




Here are ten tiny changes you can make to your daily routine to drop a dress size fast.

1. DON’T starve yourself. Fasting is not the most effective way to lose weight. To drop a dress size fast you should eat five small meals a day to help speed up your metabolism.

2. Start each day with a healthy breakfast. Try oatmeal with banana and cinnamon, low-fat yogurt with fresh berries and chopped walnuts, whole-wheat toast with almond butter, or a fresh fruit smoothie.

3. Swap your coffee for herbal tea. You’ll save around 148 calories per cup (a latte with low fat milk has about 150 calories, a cup of herbal tea has about 2 calories). If you really need your morning coffee, allow yourself one cup of black coffee a day (just 5 calories).

4. Increase your water intake to 2.5 liters a day and add a slice of lemon to each glass. It will help suppress your appetite and flush out toxins as you lose weight.

5. Increase your fiber intake to help to keep you feeling full for longer and maintain even blood sugar levels. If you really want to drop a dress size fast, make sure you fill up on whole grains (bread, cereals, pasta and brown rice), nuts, seeds, legumes (dried peas, beans, lentils), fruits and vegetables.

6. If you are hankering for a snack, fill up on negative calorie foods – foods with so few calories that you burn more than you consume by eating them. Negative calorie foods include cabbage, lettuce, cucumbers and celery.

7. Cut out all soda and other sugary drinks. Instead, drink water and herbal teas. This will help you reach your goal to drop a dress size in no time.

8. When you feel an energy slump coming on, avoid sugar and caffeine. Instead have some healthy snacks handy to keep your blood sugar levels even. Try oat cakes and hummus, sliced apple and almond butter, a handful of raw unsalted nuts, edamame or chopped up vegetables.

9. Cut down your portion sizes. Put less on your plate and eat slowly, savoring your food. If you’re still hungry at the end of a meal, wait 20 minutes before getting a second helping. That will give your brain enough time to work out whether you really are still hungry.

10. Exercise. Sadly watching what you eat won’t be enough on its own. If you want to drop a dress size fast you will need to burn some calories. Try going for a hard 30 minute walk each day before dinner.

For more information and dieting strategies to help you lose weight . . . Click Here to Visit StripThatFat.com. Thank you Ester Jane!

The little girl in me is screaming . . .

Much to my delight, I spent many summers and weekends at my girl cousin's house. We are separated by months in age and were always interested in the same things . . . much like sisters. Aside from the tropical yard with lush grass that had an awesome ditch that ran along it which was more like a little creek complete with tadpoles and little fishes, she had the most awesome little girl's playhouse. For little girls in elementary school, it was paradise! I always looked forward to my visits . . .

As I cruised the internet today, I ran into Linda MacDonald's blog,
Restyled Home, where I found her post on the most inviting playhouse for little girls and big girls alike. It quickly took me back to those days of being a little girly girl at my cousin's playhouse.

What a lucky little girl . . . I remember thinking what an awesome feeling it must be to have my own little place to hang out in. awwww the memories her story took me back to.

This big girl would love to hang out in that beautiful and comfy looking playhouse!

UPDATE:

Unfortunately, Linda MacDonald has made her blog available to invited readers only :(

Here are more awesome dollhouses . . .

http://rilane.com/outdoor/15-amazing-outdoor-playhouse-ideas/

https://www.hayneedle.com/product/8x16mansionplayhouseplayhousefloorkitloft.cfm

http://www.poshtots.com/baby-furniture/posh/ultimate-posh/victorian-playhouse/18/1376/1360/519/poshproductdetail.aspx


http://lashuts.blogspot.com/2015/02/build-shed-playhouse.html

http://furnikidz.com/wood-outdoor-playhouse-by-green-house/

Stuck in a rut?

Nine Simple Ways to End Boredom and Feel Reenergized

By Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Annette@AnnetteColby.com or www.AnnetteColby.com

Ever feel stuck in a rut and not sure about how to get out? If so, you're not alone. It's easy to get bored in the comfort of doing the same things in the same way at the same time. Here are nine simple and practical ideas to get out of a boring routine, and back into the enjoyment of life.


1. Conscious Breath
It all starts with breath! Conscious breath. Taking a conscious breath relaxes and energizes. Breath after breath, real life comes forth again. It brings you back into into the present moment, out from the past, and out from the future. In the here and now, breath brings energy, relaxation, and clarity. Breath in deeply, slowly, and consciously, and exhale. Do it again! Feel the difference?

2. Do Something You Aren't Doing Now
It's easy to get into a rut with the same uninspiring routine every day. You get up out of the same side of the bed, shower and wash your body parts in the same order, drive to work on the same route, then come home to watch television on the same spot on the sofa every There is an easy way out. Do something you aren't doing now. Do something different! Something big, something small, something silly, something out of the ordinary. Wear one black sock and one red sock. Wash your feet before you wash your hair. Hold your tongue instead of bickering with your spouse. Take a walk to the neighborhood grocery store instead of driving. Do one thing different and make a positive difference in your life today life.

3. Talk to Yourself Lovingly
Self-talk tends to gravitate toward the negative. This self-critical self-talk rut can rob you of your enthusiasm for your dreams and leave you feeling less confident. It's not necessary to control your negative thoughts or to only think positive ones. Instead, look into the mirror regularly, focus on what you're doing right, and speak constructively to yourself. Realistic constructive self-talk can reduce stress, leave you feeling more capable, and help you put more enjoyment into your life.

4. Love Your Body
It's easy to fall into a routine of neglecting, mistreating, or even hating your body. No matter what your weight or health, do something radically different today. Walk on over to the nearest mirror and have a real conversation with your body. Tell it what a great job it's been doing of helping you go through the experience of life. And no matter how much abuse or neglect you've put it through, it's still done its best to give you a home to live in.

5. Stop Complaining
Complaining about how things are is an easy habit to fall into. But complaining doesn't resolve a situation. And deep down it doesn't provide much satisfaction. Next time you find yourself complaining, take a breath and switch your focus to something that is going right or well in your world. What you give your attention and focus to will grow.

6. Get Outside
Have you been hibernating indoors? Too many hours sitting behind your computer or in front of the television? The average person spends about 90% of their times indoors. Staying indoors for too long can leave you bored, not to mention unhealthy. Fresh air, sunshine, and natural scenery provide peace, relaxation, greater psychological resilience, and stimulation of all your senses. No matter what the weather is, get geared up and head outside into nature. Sharpened senses, psychological health, and greater connection to your spirit will all get you out of the rut.

7. Clean the Clutter
Get your energy moving by taking a good look at your environment. Clutter drains your energy and can leave you feeling uninspired. Are your closets stuffed with too many clothes and shoes? Are your kitchen pantry, shelves, and drawers filled with old boxes of food, stacks of unorganized Tupperware, and trashy catchall drawers? Is your office overflowing with piles of magazines, stacks of paper, and unfiled receipts? It's never easy to start cleaning your clutter. To avoid overwhelm, take fifteen minutes every day to tackle one area. When the time is up, just leave it until the next day. You'll feel successful and your clutter will be gone in no time at all. Think of all the energy you'll free up to enjoy life!

8. Redecorate
Give your life a much needed lift by redecorating your living or working space. How about painting the walls a new color? Vibrant colors can leave you feeling invigorated and enthusiastic. Don't feel like painting? Rearrange the furniture and rotate the pictures on the walls. Rearranging furniture is one of the easiest ways to feel refreshed. Rearranging brings variety, clears energy, and helps you sort things out in your head.

9. Define Fun
It's a big world out there and there's so many ways to have fun. And so many definitions of fun. Where do you find fun? Is it being creative, being alone, being in good company, enjoying the fresh air, laughing, going on an adventure, or perhaps trying something new? Write down your list of ideas, activities, and actions that bring the fun back into your life. Then go out and have some fun!

Being stuck in a rut can leave you unmotivated and uninspired. If you find yourself in a rut, use these eight ideas to break free. Simple changes can get you energized, happier, and living life the way you really want to once again.


(c) 2009 Dr. Annette Colby, RD


About The Author

Dr. Annette Colby, RD can help you take the pain out of life, turn difficult emotions into joy, release stress, end emotional eating, and move beyond depression into an extraordinary life! Annette is the author of Your Highest Potential and has the unique ability to show you how to spark an amazing relationship with your life! Visit www.AnnetteColby.com to access hundreds of content filled articles and sign up for a Free subscription to Loving Mriacles newsletter.

Note: Are you looking for fresh content for your e-zine or web site? Feel free to reprint this article as long as it's kept intact and unaltered (including the 'About The Author' info at the end).

A good night's sleep

Sleep deprivation has been linked to weight gain, depression, anxiety, heart disease . . . and can result in accidents that can occur from limited mental alertness, which can be very dangerous depending on what you do for a living and even driving around the block. It affects more areas of life than we realize.

Many people sacrifice sleep since there are so many things to accomplish and not enough time in the day. How about sacrificing less important commitments, and maintain a routine, setting a regular bedtime to get a full 8 hours sleep?

As a result of living with dysfunctional sleep patterns and bad habits developed from no regular routine, I have come to the conclusion that becoming "normal" involves a "normal routine" . . . not just drifting through life. Even a bird wakes up at dawn, following a routine, even though it is a free spirit like me.

Here are some facts to help you get a good night's sleep . . .

The secret to a great night’s sleep start with a dark, quiet and cool room, which will help your body realize it’s time for bed, and will help you stay asleep longer.

Exercise early . . . you may not be using up enough energy during the day if you can't wind down by bedtime . . . it helps you use your energy more efficiently during the day, boosts your metabolism and helps you think more clearly. The restless feeling you experience at night could possibly be replaced by the need to rest your tired body and mind, eager to hit the sack.

Watch what you eat . . . are you eating or drinking caffeinated foods late in the day, too close to bedtime? Caffeine’s effects can last up to seven hours . . . start slowing down consumption after noon so that caffeine left in your system will be used up by the time you’re ready to sleep.

Opt for eating a healthier evening snack, such as fruit or popcorn . . . stop eating at least two hours before you go to bed. The digestive process can trigger strange dreams and nightmares, and disrupt your sleep cycle.

Stress is linked to a weakened immune system and promotes disease . . . and it can also affect your sleep cycle. Spend a little time clearing your mind, taking deep breaths and try to relax your body before going to sleep.

Develop a routine that is comfortable for you and stick to it . . . your body and the sleep cycle craves routine and in time will respond accordingly.

Turn off the television which keeps you awake longer . . . it captivates the mind and the imagination, stimulating your brain with vibrant colors and sounds.

Chamomile tea promotes restful sleep!

A full night's sleep allows your body to rest and prepares you for the day ahead . . .

A guide to interior paint colors

It is time for me to start changing things around the house. The least expensive and easiest way to change the look of a room is to paint . . . perhaps change colors. 

Click here to go to an excellent resource from HGTV that is all about interior paint colors with lots of tips and inspiration.

Interior decorating with red

I absolutely adore this red bathroom!! Actually, I already have all the plans in my head on the new "red" look for my bathroom. I'm known for my bizarre decorating style . . . my current bathroom look is a "beachy Florida style" in shades of hot pink and aqua with a black and white check floor featuring a very retro flamingo themed shower curtain. 

Red is my favorite color and I indulge myself in the color wherever I can. Take a look around my websites and blogs and the reoccurring theme is RED :-) My mustard gold faux finished stone looking walls with black trim and of course, the black and white check floors are highlighted by an area above my kitchen cabinets in BRIGHT RED . . . it is awesome. I'm still working on it . . . but I will do an entry with photos when it is completed.